He Fills My Life... Things Learned During a Busy Season

As if the title of this post didn't already indicate how the past two and a half months have been, just know that this post has been sitting half finished in my drafts for weeks. Oops...

Some days I believe this psalm and shout it's truth, others I am skeptical as I exhaust myself and wonder why I put so much on my plate. From the very beginning of my spring semester all the way until Spring Break, I was in a self proclaimed busy season. The "getting ~5 hours of sleep a night, consuming an embarrassing amount of caffeine, having no time to breathe, much less take care of myself" type of season. To be as raw and honest as possible, every part of me was exhausted - spiritually, emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically. And as challenging as that season was, I learned so so much about myself and my God. So today, I am going to celebrate the season that I prayed and pleaded would soon be over - because I think it is only right to celebrate the life God has given me & recognize the beauty He has woven in the messy & chaotic. To celebrate how Jesus has filled my life.

What I Have Learned:

1. His Strength vs. my strength
During my busy season, I learned how different a day looked and felt when I would lean into Jesus for strength & energy vs. when I tried to simple rely on my own strength. Waking up at 6 am and not allowing my body any time to rest until I would crawl into bed around 1:30 am the next evening was exhausting in itself. But when I believed the lies of this world that I "didn't have time" to spend with God, I not only became more spiritually tired, I also ignored the fact that Jesus' strength alone is what allowed me to get through the day. Looking back on those days that I tried to do it all myself, they came with more uneasiness, worry, and negative emotions than the days where I would spend even just a few minutes praying & talking to God. That is a continually humbling reminder of my reliance & dependence on my creator as well as how important living in constant communication with God is.

2. Filling my life comes with balance
Psalm 103:5 says that Jesus fills my life with good things. We can interpret "good" in a lot of different ways, but through a few books I have been chipping away at lately (The Fringe Hours and Hello Mornings), God has been teaching me about balance and how important it is when filling our days. The various roles I find myself in have demanded a lot of attention and time, and with the nature of a busy season, recognizing what needed to be prioritized in order to keep my life balanced became a juggling act. I think one of the most important things that this busy season taught me was how I spend my time. If scripture proclaims that "He fills my life with good things", I should want to put down the phone, pick up the pencil or bible or even a friend's spirits and spend the precious time God has given me to experience the fullness and goodness of my days - even the busy and tiring ones.

3. Busyness reveals my personal wiring
I think this season revealed to me how God has wired me in ways that other seasons have failed to do so. This season revealed to me how I prioritized things from schoolwork, to extracurriculars, to exercise, to spiritual growth, to sleep. For example, I am wired to be a learner, and in this season that part of myself was really brought to the limelight as any free moments I had between classes and meetings I was doing schoolwork. I am not saying this to brag whatsoever, but rather to both recognize how this part of my personality played a role in my busyness and to encourage people who have read this far (you wonderful people :)) to reflect on how you function when time seems nonexistent & you're running on fumes. It's almost like God is like, "Hey remember how I created you and wired you so uniquely? Yeah just cultivate that right here and right now."

As I reflect back on the crazy first half of my spring semester, I am reminded of the footprints poem that states, "when there was only one set of footprints in sand, that is when I carried you." He fills my life, He carries me through because His strength is always greater than my own, and He gently reminds me how He has wired me. So instead of praying that a season like that doesn't happen for a long time, I will pray that if and when it does, I can learn even more about my creator and how His hand is in every single thing I have done, am doing, and will ever do.